Dick and Jane

See Dick drink.

See Dick drive.

See Dick die.

Don't be a Dick.

Yeah, I know it's a buzz kill, but this is serious:  don't be an idiot.  Call your roommate, call a friend, call a taxi, ride a bus, ask the bartender for advice, do whatever you need to, but find a way to get home without driving drunk.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but getting killed would suck.  Killing someone else would suck worse.  Don't screw this up.